What you know of a situation around you is simply the stance that you choose to take while you gather more evidence and better explanations. It will tide you over for a while, but it is probably not the final word on things. This is true whether you are facing a business challenge or a personal issues that you need to overcome. A sense of ‘truth’ is comforting. Living a life of radical truth, where you confront all your beliefs and take full responsibility is one of the best ways to move towards a happier, better life. But complete understanding is never an option. We will always have partial understanding and when we get close to the truth, situations change. If truth were out there beyond us, there would be no new science, no new technology. Accept that what you currently believe will tide you over for now.

This may seem obvious, but there will always be a tempting, simple explanation and one that leaves our ego in tact. You are smart enough to know that you are not perfect. You are smart enough to know that there are plenty of people with a sexy girlfriend or a top of the range car and who are completely miserable. Don’t accept the myth that you just haven’t found the right model, or colour or make of car yet. It’s not about the car. The worst stance that you can take in the face of evident failure is to assume that the blinder you are, the better. It will be unpleasant to confront reality. We are all a mix of disappointments to ourselves and to those around us in some way or other. Don’t wait for the truth to hit you in the head with a revelation that can no longer be ignored. Don’t wait to be made redundant, before you consider what makes you a valuable employee. Having trouble at work? In a lousy relationship? Confront the reasons head on. Maybe you’re the problem. If so, you can also be the solution.

The occurrence of an event usually tells us something about its cause. That redundancy notice that you just received will tell you two things: The company wasn’t doing as well as you assumed, or you weren’t doing as well as you assumed. Your girlfriend told you that she loves you but she’s just not ready for a relationship right now. It’s easy to jump to the obvious conclusion. Your girlfriend will see sense and come round to realising your value soon enough. Perhaps you just need to wait. But what if that is only part of the picture? She probably told you those words because although she’s dumping you, she still has enough ego not to want to be looked at as a monster. Admitting the truth, she liked the flattery of dating you at the beginning but she’s shallow and it wore off, would be a step too far for her to admit out loud. She’s probably lying to herself, as well as you. For most people, the search for an explanation typically stops when one plausible narrative can be found. It is always worth digging a bit deeper.